Calling Clark Kent
by theywillneverknow
Summary: One-shot angst-y look at Clark after the actions of 'Bride' and maybe 'Legion'. Drabble-y at best. Can be read as a sequel to 'Losing Lois Lane'. Clois.


_Disclaimer:: I do not own Smallville or anything associated with it._

_Short summary: One-shot angst-y look at Clark after the actions of 'Bride' and maybe 'Legion'. Drabble-y at best. Can be read as a sequel to 'Losing Lois Lane'._

Author's Note: Okay, so because I'm a reviewers slave a typed up this sequel to 'Losing Lois Lane' but it can be read as a one-shot. I am hoping to type up a third part to this series for true Clois-y type fluff because writing angst-y type stuff is depressing. Because I wanted to get this up asap it has not been beta-d so if there are any spelling/grammar errors I apologise. =] Enjoy, folks. Remember - comments and con-crit is love.

Calling Clark Kent

Watching her walk away from him in the hospital had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

Watching the spark die in her eyes before him, watching her crumble into a broken mess had near killed him and he wondered when Lois Lane's pain had become as lethal to him as Kryptonite. Because that was how it had felt; like some ultimately important and intangible thing inside of him had died. He wondered vaguely if it was his soul that she had shattered in just one look. And now, ever since she had disappeared to Star City to keep watch over Jimmy, Clark had felt her absence most strongly. He had missed her constant strength throughout the search for Chloe, had missed her teasing grin, hell, he was man enough to admit that he had just plain missed her. He had not realised, standing in that stark hospital hallway letting her leave him, how much time they spent together every day and how empty his days would seem without Lois' bright spark to make the blood sing in his veins. This sudden desperate need for Lois in his life had crept up on Clark until he couldn't repress it any longer. So it was with a mixed sense of dread and utter helplessness that he had begun the search for Chloe.

It did not look good.

For one thing, neither he nor the Justice League knew anything about the creature that had stolen her away, where they were headed, or for what purpose. It was at that point of the search that Lois' proactive attitude and unerring sense of gut judgement would have been invaluable to the search party but, as fate would have it, she was incapacitated at Jimmy's bedside. A fact which Clark was still not entirely happy with. 'Not entirely happy' may be the greatest understatement that the English language has ever had to face; Clark Kent was still trying to recover from the blow that he had been dealt when realisation had finally dawned on him that Lois had really left. And it was up to him to get her back by finding Chloe. Clark Kent had never before felt so very lost. Here he was trying, and failing, to rescue his best friend and all he could think about was the ache in his heart that had started as soon as Lois had left for Star City.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Lois Lane. Busy."

Short, sweet and to the point. So why was he getting so unbelievably frustrated by those three little words? He hung up the phone once again, refusing to leave yet another voicemail that would, undoubtedly, get ignored. It took all of his self-control not to crush the phone in his hand. All he wanted was to hear her voice, to hear something other than the Justice League reporting back that there was still no sign of the blonde bride.

This had been going on for 13 days. 13 days in which he had been using all of his resources to find Chloe by day and by night trying, but failing, to banish thoughts of Lois Lane creeping into his consciousness. 13 days of trying to ignore the longing he felt to hold Lois once more in his arms. 13 days of failing to find Chloe. 13 days of wondering what could possibly be worse than this Lois-less existence. 13 days of trying to get her to talk to him with no avail.

The one time she had actually answered her phone to his incoming call it had been brief, awkward and Clark winced at the very memory.

"Come on, Lois. Pick up, pick up." He was pacing in the kitchen, phone pressed urgently against his ear as he listened to the rings continue. He let out a growl of impatience and was about to hang up when there was a click and a pause before.

"Hello?"

Her voice! Sweet as honey and soft as a feather greeted him down the line. "What the fuck? It's 3 in the morning. Who is this?"

Okay, so not sweet and soft but it was her voice all the same; husky from sleep and crisp with impatience. He could not stop the smile that spread across his face, feeling pure relief at finally being able to speak to her.

"Lois, it's Clark." He heard the sharp intake of breath, even without his super hearing, and inwardly frowned. "I've been trying to reach you for ages. Must be 4 or 5 days now." It was, in fact 6 days, 3 hours and approximately 21 minutes but he didn't feel she needed to know that.

"Yeah. Phone has to be off in the hospital so..." She trailed off into silence and he felt his throat tighten up slightly because he knew, for a fact, that Lois Lane was not one for rules and that she had phoned Oliver most days from inside the hospital. It had taken him four days to realise the reason as to why he was snapping at Oliver all the time for no real apparent reason; he was jealous. Jealous that Lois called him almost every night to ask about Chloe, jealous that Lois was staying in Oliver's apartment in Star City, jealous even that Lois had asked Oliver where the best Chinese takeaway was in Star City. This coupled with the fact that Clark had yet to hear from Lois had caused that familiar fiend called jealousy to churn in his stomach and he hated that Oliver had been the one to bring it about. He pushed on hastily with the conversation, forcing images of Oliver and Lois out of his head.

"Er...so, I was just wondering how you were doing over there." He winced at his lame attempt at conversation and waited anxiously for her response.

"Jimmy's stable and they think he might wake up soon but it's hard to tell." He wanted to interrupt her and tell her he hadn't asked how Jimmy was; he had asked how she was but she continued on hurriedly. "Listen, Clark, why are you phoning me at 3 in the morning? Couldn't you have asked this tomorrow morning at a sensible hour?" She stifled a yawn and his heart softened.

How was he supposed to say 'I wanted to call at a time when I knew you wouldn't check the caller ID and screen my call'? How was he supposed to say 'because I just needed to hear your voice'? He couldn't.

"I was just calling to let you know that we're umm...we're..."

"Oh my God, Clark, is it Chloe?" The hope mingled with anxiousness was palpable and he hated the fact that he could only let her down again and tell the truth that they were no closer to finding Chloe than they had been the week before. But he was saved from answering with an interruption that he wasn't sure whether he was grateful for or not.

"Clark! Come quick, Oliver's found something!" Lana's voice called from the other room and before Clark could say anything else Lois was speaking.

"You better go Clark. I'll get the details from Ollie."

'No!' He wanted to scream, 'no, get the details from me' but instead he was rendered mute as he heard the dull click on the line meaning she had hung up and once again cut him out of her life, walls as impenetrable as ever. She often labelled him the slow farm-boy, an affectionate insult he had come to accept, but he had quickly come to realise that Lois was not avoiding the horrible, impossible situation she had been faced with as he had first assumed; she was avoiding him. And it hurt more and more because he didn't know what he had done wrong.

It only occurred to him, several hours later as he lie awake in bed, that during their conversation she had not once called him 'Smallville'.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Clark?" Lana took the seat opposite him in the Talon and gazed worriedly as he stared at the cold coffee he was still cradling in his hand. A crease appeared above her brow and her voice sounded tiny when she spoke. "What's wrong?" She reached across the table and clasped his left hand in hers.

Clark slowly lifted his eyes to stare despondently at the girl he once loved. Here she was, back in his life, and all he could think about was a woman who barely registered their friendship, let alone anything else that he may have wanted them to be. Still, he did not retract his hand and accepted the gesture as purely platonic, because that is what they were; platonic friends. Friends that were temporarily living together whilst she was back in town and had no where to stay. He had offered her a room, as he would have offered any of his friends if they needed one, and thought no more of it and, despite Oliver's knowing, amused smile, that was all it was. He mustered a smile and issued a vague shrug, realising that the conversation that would ensue was not going to be a comfortable one if he explained what was on his mind.

"Is it me? Coming back? I didn't mean to upset you or anything." He couldn't believe that Lana thought this was about her. He would have burst out laughing but reigned himself in for fear that their fragile friendship would shatter if he upset her. Instead he shook his head and released a sigh. His thoughts lie with another LL altogether. As well as his heart.

"It's just...I don't know. Everything, I guess.

"Chloe's going to be okay, you know. The doctors just say she's exhausted but she's not injured." He glanced at her sharply and wondered if she had always been this bad at being able to read him. He was not worried for Chloe; he had been reassured that she would be fine several times by several doctors. No, his thoughts lie with Lois and the weekly reports he received from Oliver stating that she wasn't sleeping properly, was not eating properly, in fact, she did not seem to be taking care of herself at all. And he just wished Lois would talk to him. Just wished that, for once, he could be the hero that she went to instead of Oliver bleeding Queen.

He could remember the conflicting emotions that had bombarded him at Chloe's wedding from the racing of his heart as Lois had been but a breath away. He had almost been right where he wanted to be, had almost been the man he wanted to be in Lois' life. But then Lana had arrived and so had the absolute shock of finding Lana Lang back in Smallville, in his own barn no less. He had been blown away by the sight of her, his head not quite grasping the fact that she was back. He remembers his first thought focusing on a completely benign subject.

'Why is she wearing black? It's a wedding not a funeral.'

And with that one snarkey thought he knew he had been spending far too much time with Lois Lane.

And yet, disgustingly almost, he could not take his eyes off of her. 'Train wreck' was an apt description of their relationship, in fact Lois had narrowed it down to a tee within minutes of knowing them both. He had let Lois walk away from him that night, just like in the hospital, and whilst he regretted it at the time, he was grateful for it in the end because it meant she was out of harm's way. She was, for once, away from the immediate danger. But still, he hated the look she had given him, the look that was burned into his memory, as she watched hope rear its ugly head in the bottom of his heart that, this time, Lana might be back for good. That, this time, they might make it work. And although it was only a small part of him that hoped for that destiny, it was enough to make him turn away from Lois and pay his full attention to the petite brunette gracing the doorway of his barn. He was confused, conflicted and unsure as to what her objective was by returning to Smallville. He did not, would not, believe that she had returned simply for Chloe's wedding and so he had followed her up to the 'brooding nest' as Lois had dubbed it where he had tried to glean what information he could from her to no avail.

And now, here she was, sat in front of him, holding his hand mustering the cutest expression she could and he couldn't feel a thing. He stared at her impassively as her doe eyes darkened and she leaned ever so slightly closer, an action which did not affect the stutter of his steady heartbeat.

"I'm here for you, you know. If you want to talk."

And with that her lips brushed across his.

He blinked, utterly stunned by her action. And yet, somehow, deep down, he knew he needed this, needed closure to really, truly move on. He needed the chance to say goodbye to her, on his terms, to finally end that chapter in his life and be able to look to the future. A future which increasingly seemed to involve one Lois Lane. Lana would always be his first love, he could not change that, and she would always have a special place in his memories but that did not mean she was the only woman he would ever love or, even, that she was the only one he was destined to love. He remembered the knowing look in his mother's eyes as he had proclaimed that he could never imagine loving anyone else and it struck him, suddenly, how immature and naive that sentence had truly been.

He pulled away sharply, a frown marring his handsome features as he watched her face fall and she sat back down in her seat, an appropriate distance set between them. She struggled with a smile and a strained laugh.

"Well, I suppose that answers any questions we had. I'll move my stuff from the farm tomorrow. I should really get back to work now that Chloe has been found. Take care, Clark." She patted his hand once more as she scrambled to pull her coat on. He stood up and gave her a one armed hug, her tiny frame enveloped by his.

"Goodbye, Lana."

He watched her leave, noticing how easy it was in comparison to watching a broken Lois walk away from him.

And he realised that he had fallen for Lois Lane.

Or perhaps he had always been falling for her, he wasn't sure anymore. All he knew was it was an entirely different experience to anything he had ever felt before. He had fallen for Lana, hard, fast and utterly helpless. Clutching at air as it rushed past him in a dizzying blur of sound and colour. Finally, when he hit the ground, he had woken from his dreamlike state with a cruel bump into reality; a reality where Lana was just a young woman as imperfect and confused as everyone else. From afar he had not seen the cracks and blemishes that were etched into her very soul, and up close she was nothing like the fantastic imaginary woman he had painted for himself. But maybe that was what he needed; a wake-up call, so that when he did meet the right woman he would understand that imperfections were something he should embrace as endearing quirks rather than cracks that, as he discovered, only expanded if they were prodded and poked. He couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life with a woman like the ones in his old story books had described; the damsel in distress; nothing more than a pretty face that provided constant challenges to test his love. But being with Lois did not feel like falling, it did not feel like he was hurtling downwards only to crash into the solid ground; it was more like he was floating, being lifted slowly but determinedly upwards to some ultimate goal. Like he was flying.

Because, with Lois Lane; he had found his wings.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It had been over two and a half months since he had actually seen her in the flesh. He had caught a glimpse of her when Chloe had finally been rescued and she had visited the hospital to see her cousin alive and breathing. She had swept into the room only to collapse on her cousin's bed, half sobbing in relief at the sight of the woman she considered her sister. It was at that point that Oliver and Clark had left the room to give Lois her space and some time alone with the unconscious Chloe both offering her their respective homes to spend the night and to call them if she needed a ride. And that had been the only time he had seen her in their nearly fourth month separation. He had been shocked and more than a little disheartened to learn that she had stayed in the hospital all night, despite the protests of the hospital staff, and had left early in the morning to return to her post in Star City without so much as a goodbye.

And since then he had only spoken to her on the phone a handful of times, whilst leaving dozens of voicemail messages that were left unanswered but now they were going to be reunited at last. Chloe had been rescued and had recovered beautifully under the watchful eyes of the medical staff at Smallville General before joining Lois in Star City to wait for Jimmy to wake up. The two cousins had taken up permanent residence in Oliver's apartment with Lois occasionally writing stories for the Daily Planet about the underhanded dealings of the politicians found in Star City to keep themselves funded. They both watched over Jimmy diligently and although Clark had asked Chloe if Lois was going to come home now that she was out there, the answer had been that Lois had insisted on staying to support the young bride throughout her emotional ride in hell. But Jimmy had finally returned to the land of the living and everyone was coming to the Kent Farm for a belated Christmas celebration as a fully formed family. The idea had been Jimmy's since they had all missed Christmas with both Jimmy and Chloe in hospital and Lois and Clark watching over them respectively. So the four had decided to have their Christmas as soon as Jimmy could be moved from Star City which, as it turned out, was quite a bit later than previously anticipated due to complications from his injuries.

So it was, in early March, that Clark dug out the Christmas decorations once more and dressed the farm again for festivities. And while he was glad to see Chloe and Jimmy again, what really had Clark's heart all a-flutter as he strung up the last of the fairy lights, was that they were bringing Lois back. They were bringing her home. Just the thought of seeing her again and being able to hold her in his arms had sent his pulse sky-rocketing. And now he was watching the clock impatiently as he awaited their arrival with baited breath.

A knock on the door followed by it opening caused him to dump the last of the decorations on the floor, his pulse pounding in his ears as he restrained himself from super speeding to the door. As he walked through the living room, he saw Chloe wander through the hallway carrying a box of what looked like poorly wrapped Christmas gifts.

"Chloe!" He rushed over to her and took the box from her instantly. Holding it under one arm he wrapped her up as best he could in a one armed embrace which she returned warmly.

"Clark, it's so good to see you." She released him and couldn't help but grin at the sight of her best friend after the long time away from him.

"Good to see you too. Is there much more to bring in or is this it?" He asked, gesturing to the box.

"No, that's all of it I think. I'll go check. Just put that in the living room or something." He nodded and turned back into the living room as she hurried back out the front door towards her car.

He had been picturing this moment for several weeks now, had been day dreaming about it at the Daily Planet as he stared morosely at the empty desk opposite him. Chloe would wrench open the door, slightly jammed with the cold weather and an icy build up, and grin at him. Next Jimmy would waltz through the door carrying a box load of food and games and presents. He would throw him that cheeky grin and call him CK and then time would stop because Lois would walk through the door. An image of grace and beauty as she tripped slightly on the door mat only to march straight in with her muddy boots traipsing dirt through the house. She would punch him in the arm and call him Smallville and everything would be just perfect. What would be more perfect, his sly mind had interjected, would be if she ran up and placed those warm, delectable, moist lips...which is the point at which Clark would shake his head and fight down the rather warm blush that had crept up his neck.

However, this was not the sight that greeted him.

As he turned round to greet his other guests, he found Chloe standing in the doorway holding up the better part of Jimmy's weight as he struggled into the living room. His grin was still the same as ever, his eyes just as bright, but a small part of Clark was shocked at the physical weakness that was so very apparent in his photographing friend. Regaining his breath, he moved towards Clark, his grin transforming into something of a grimace as he reached to slap Clark on the back.

"Hey CK. Don't look like that, doc says I'll be up and about in no time. Right, Chlo?" He turned to wink at his wife who smiled softly and nodded. "There, see. No need for your serious face." He nudged Clark with his elbow and sank into the sofa with an audible groan. "Just needs time, that's all."

"Well it's good to see you up and about anyway Jimmy." Clark said honestly with a grin. As Chloe also sank down onto the sofa Clark couldn't stop the frown that creased his forehead. He went to close the front door and peered blankly out onto the driveway to see if Lois was still getting things from the car.

He saw nothing. An empty space.

"Guys, where's Lois?"

He turned, questioning, to the newlyweds and regretted it instantly when he was branded a fool by their pitying eyes. And, with his heart plummeting to the pit of his stomach, he realised she wasn't coming home, at least, not tonight. He had not even entertained the idea that she would not come and so it was with bitter disappointment that he watched Chloe quickly averting her gaze from his. Jimmy clearly sensed the need to explain but it did nothing to ease the dull ache that had settled somewhere over Clark's heart.

"Sorry, CK. Lois opted to stay back in Star City for a while. Apparently she's onto something huge; she says the story has got Pulitzer written all over it. She was very hush hush about it though; couldn't tell me any details." He paused for a second. "You okay?"

Clark listened, in disbelief, as Jimmy explained why the woman he didn't think he could live without was miles away surrounded by people that neither knew nor cared who she was. A beautifully delicate sound echoed in his ears, like the tinkling of broken glass, and he knew, in that instant, that Lois Lane had broken his heart.

~*~ End ~*~


End file.
